Contact us
The Registry welcomes correspondence from members of the public, in principle.
Real contact: refunds and questions
Email fakefightingfish@gmail.com for refunds, download problems, or anything about this website.
Where a download is faulty or fails, a refund will be provided. This does not limit your rights under the Australian Consumer Law.
Purchases: the $3.49 AUD Official Fighting-Fish Owner's Handbook (joke PDF) and the A$19 First 30 Days guide (real betta care PDF). Customers are requested to include the email address shown on their Stripe receipt.
Everything below this point is satire. None of the details in the table will reach anyone; use the email address above instead.
| Street address | The Bowl, Third Shelf from the Left, Next to the Lamp |
|---|---|
| Postal address | Please do not post anything to a bowl |
| Phone | Please do not tap |
| The Registry itself does not have email. It has a large book with a ribbon bookmark. (Real enquiries: see the box above.) | |
| Opening hours | Whenever the lights are on, except between flares |
| Interpreter service | Available in Bubble, Flare and Sovereign Gaze |
| Accessibility | The Registry is accessible by staring meaningfully at any fish |
Before contacting the Registry
- Have you read the FAQ?
- Have you tried the complaints process? (Please note where Step 6 goes.)
- Have you tried a firm letter?
Last updated: 19 October 2026. This page has been reviewed by the Committee for Reviewing Pages, which determined that it is a page.