Support the Registry
Official Fighting-Fish Owner's Handbook (printable PDF)
$3.49 AUD one-off. No subscription. No extras. No add-ons.
A printable, 12-page booklet of complete nonsense in the Registry's finest official language. It includes the full text of the Bowl Accord (both surviving sentences), a feeding chart, a certificate of bowl sovereignty to colour in, and a pocket guide to the firm letter.
- You pay $3.49 AUD, the price shown here. Card payment is handled securely by Stripe.
- Upon payment, the PDF may be downloaded immediately.
- It is a joke publication. It has no legal effect and gives no real fishkeeping advice.
Purchasers will be directed to Stripe's checkout page to complete payment. Purchasers may cancel at any time, and no charge will be made. Refunds and questions: fakefightingfish@gmail.com.
* Real bettas need a heated, filtered tank; see Real Care.
Or play along on Fake Fighting Fish
The affiliated site enables members of the public to send a friend a joke registry notice regarding their fish, and enables that friend to register their fish in return. Each of those is a separate, clearly priced $3.49 AUD option on that site, explained before you pay.
Looking for real fish care?
Our separate Real Care section has genuine betta care basics for free, and an optional A$19 First 30 Days guide (a 6-page PDF with a 30-day checklist). It is not part of the satire.
Or do nothing at all
That is completely fine. Everything else on this site is free to read, and always will be.
Last updated: 19 October 2026. This page has been reviewed by the Committee for Reviewing Pages, which determined that it is a page.