This page is satire, not real fish-care information. For real care, see
Real Care.
Forms library
The Registry publishes 35 general forms and 26 condition notification forms. None of them can be lodged, because none of them exist. This is considered their best feature.
These forms are fictional. There is nothing to download, fill in or send. Persons seeking an actual (joke) registration notice for a friend's fish should visit Fake Fighting Fish.
General
| Form | Title | Purpose |
|---|
| FF-001 | Application to Be a Fish | For a fish that wishes to confirm, in writing, that it is a fish. Applicants who are not fish should use Form FF-002. |
| FF-002 | Declaration of Not Being a Fish | For snails, plants, castles and humans who have been mistakenly sent Form FF-001. |
| FF-004 | Request for a Form | For requesting a form. If you do not have this form, request it using this form. |
| FF-005 | Notice of Having Lost a Form | To be lodged with the form you have lost. |
| FF-010 | Statutory Declaration of General Wetness | For declaring, under penalty of mild embarrassment, that a bowl is broadly wet. |
| FF-017 | Request to Speak to Someone in Charge | The person in charge will review your request and refer it to the person in charge. |
| FF-042 | Application for an Extension of Time to Lodge an Application for an Extension of Time | Self-explanatory, eventually. |
| FF-100 | Annual Return of a Fish | A summary of the fish's year, including laps completed, bubbles produced and reflections confronted. |
| FF-999 | Report of a Missing Part of a Regulation | For anyone with information about Part 3 of the Bubble-Nest Planning Regulations 1994. |
Bowls and buildings
| Form | Title | Purpose |
|---|
| B-02 | Notice of Intention to Make Bubbles | Required before commencing a bubble-nest development. May be lodged after the nest has been built. |
| B-09 | Application for Recognition of a Corner | For a fish that has identified a corner in a round bowl and would like it formally acknowledged. |
| B-14 | Application to Relocate a Realm to a Location With a View | Required before moving a bowl to a windowsill. |
| B-15 | Application to Relocate a Realm Back to the Bench | Identical to Form B-14, printed in a slightly sadder font. |
| B-22 | Notice of Castle Fall-Over | To report that a castle has fallen over and to claim a reduction in rent of one bubble per week. |
| B-31 | Claim for Startlement by a Breathing Treasure Chest | For fish surprised by a treasure chest that opens on an air line. Claims are capped at one bubble. |
| B-40 | Heritage Nomination for a Bubble Nest | To nominate a nest that has lasted longer than one hour for the Register of Significant Nests. Must be lodged quickly. |
Flaring and conduct
| Form | Title | Purpose |
|---|
| F-12 | Notice of Intention to Flare | Optional. Most fish flare first and lodge never. |
| F-21 | Application for a Glamour Permit (Long Fins Edition) | Required for any flare an ordinary reasonable observer would need to sit down for. |
| F-30 | Complaint About Another Fish's Flare | For fish that saw a flare and found it to be a lot. Processed under the complaints process. |
| F-33 | Statement That It Was Just Stretching | A defence statement for fish accused of flaring. |
Names
| Form | Title | Purpose |
|---|
| N-01 | Application to Register a Fish Name | To enter a name in the National Register of Fish Names. Applicants are required to confirm that the name is not already taken. |
| N-02 | Application for a Middle Name | Where a name is taken, to insert a middle name, such as "Thug Reginald Math". |
| N-09 | Notice of Change of Name | Fee waived for any fish formerly known as "Sir Finsworth" and now known as "Gary". |
Food
| Form | Title | Purpose |
|---|
| P-03 | Request for More Pellets | Lodged by the fish, constantly, in the form of a meaningful stare. |
| P-07 | Acknowledgement That a Feeder Block Is Not the Same as Being There | To be signed by any human leaving a fish with a holiday feeder block. |
| P-11 | Notice of Snack Envy | For fish who have watched a human eat pizza while receiving flakes. |
Glass and reflections
| Form | Title | Purpose |
|---|
| T-01 | Apology for Tapping on the Glass | A short, sincere apology. Remorse of at least 30 seconds is required. |
| T-03 | Statement of Reflection by a Repeat Tapper | For anyone who has tapped more than three times in one day. |
| R-05 | Application for Arbitration Against One's Own Reflection | The outcome will be a draw. Lodging the form is the satisfying part. |
Water
| Form | Title | Purpose |
|---|
| W-12 | Water Inspector's Finding | Completed by a Water Inspector using one of four approved findings, the most serious being "please see me". |
| W-27 | Acknowledgement of Water-Change Relocation Stress | Requires the human to pause, look at the fish and say "there you go". |
| W-30 | Notice of Algae (Small Garden) | To declare green growth on the glass a small garden the fish did not ask for. |
Complaints
| Form | Title | Purpose |
|---|
| C-01 | Complaint | The first step in the complaints process. See also Form C-02. |
| C-02 | Complaint About the Handling of a Complaint | The second step in the complaints process. See also Form C-01. |
| C-03 | Complaint About the Complaints Process | Leads back to Form C-01. The Registry acknowledges this is not ideal. |
Schedule of condition notification forms
One form for each condition in the Register of Notifiable Conditions. Every one of them asks the same three questions: "Which fish?", "Which condition?" and "Have you tried a firm letter?"
Last updated: 19 October 2026. This page has been reviewed by the Committee for Reviewing Pages, which determined that it is a page.
