Public Fighting Fish Real Care← Satire site

Real Care for Fighting Fish (Bettas)

Plain, practical information for keeping a fighting fish (betta) healthy. This section has no jokes in it.

The essentials

See a real aquatic vet

If your fish stops eating, seems lethargic, or its fins, colour or body change, please see a vet with fish experience. This site does not diagnose illness or give medication advice. Australian options include For Fish and The Fish Vet.

The First 30 Days: betta care guide

A$19 one-off. No subscription. Instant download: a 6-page PDF with a 30-day checklist.

It contains standard, widely accepted care information only. It does not diagnose illness or include medication doses.

You pay A$19, the price shown here, through Stripe's secure checkout. You can cancel on the Stripe page and nothing will be charged. Questions about real fish health should go to an aquatic vet. Refunds and download problems: fakefightingfish@gmail.com.

Last updated: 19 October 2026.