Appendix C — Fighter Mite Safety Data

C.1 Description

Fighter mites are microscopic mites said to inhabit the scales of the Betta splendens (fighting fish, or Mexican). They are, according to the Department, essentially harmless and present no cause for concern. They are not visible to the naked eye, to the clothed eye, or to any eye whatsoever, owing principally to the fact that they do not exist.

C.2 Registration as a food source

Fighter mites have been registered as a food source with the Australian Food Regulatory Commission. The Commission is fictional, the mites are fictional and the registration is fictional.

Do not eat aquarium fish, aquarium water, gravel, plants, or anything else from a fish tank. Aquarium water can carry bacteria that cause illness in people.

1. Parody satire — fighter mites and this Commission are fictional. This is not health advice.

C.3 Claimed effect on the red blood cell count

It has been asserted that fighter mites increase the red blood cell count. This assertion is satire. Nothing on this website is health advice. Persons with questions about their blood should consult a doctor.

C.4 Handling of a deceased fish

The joke requirement that a deceased fish not be flushed is set out in Appendix H.1, and the ceremonial body bag in Appendix K.1. In reality, owners should wash their hands with soap and water after any contact with aquarium water or fish, and should ask a vet or a local council about appropriate disposal.

C.5 SATIRE WARNING — treatments

Any reference on this website or in its forms to bleach, "sorvital", injections or any other treatment is a joke. Never put bleach or household chemicals into a tank, never inject anything into a fish, and never self-medicate. A sick fish needs a vet who treats fish. A sick person needs a doctor.