Parody letterhead: DELIVERING FOR QUEENSLAND, a four-legged rooster and centaur coat of arms, FEDERAL Government FISHERIES (satire, not a real government logo)

A four-legged rooster and a centaur. Parody satire.

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Appendices

Appendix F — Visiting Alien Repatriation Protocols

inserted 2003

F.1 Classification

The Betta splendens (fighting fish, or Mexican) is native to the Kingdom of Thailand, where wild bettas inhabit shallow, warm, slow-moving waters such as rice paddies, marshes and drainage ditches. For the purposes of this Appendix, every betta residing in Australia is classified as a visiting alien, irrespective of whether it was bred in Australia, how long it has resided in the bowl, or how thoroughly it has adopted the local accent.

F.2 Repatriation of remains

Upon death, remains are (fictionally) to be repatriated to the Kingdom of Thailand in the ceremonial body bag specified in Appendix K. The repatriation fee is $182.42, which is display-only; no payment is accepted.

F.2.1 Diplomatic courtesies

(a) The bag shall travel in the window seat. (b) No customs declaration is required, as there is nothing to declare. (c) The Kingdom of Thailand has not been informed of any of this, and the Department asks that it not be.

F.3 Ceremonial honours

Ceremonial honours are set out in Appendix J.

F.4 Civic participation

Visiting aliens may not vote in fish elections but may observe proceedings sternly from the side of the bowl nearest the polling station.

Parody satire — this appendix is fictional and is not advice, except where marked "not satire".

Last updated: 20 October 2026. This page has been reviewed by the Committee for Reviewing Pages, which determined that it is a page.