Fighting-Fish (Bowl Sovereignty) Act 1987

1 Short title

This Act may be cited as the Fighting-Fish (Bowl Sovereignty) Act 1987, or, in informal correspondence, "the Bowl Act", provided the correspondence is not on letterhead.

2 Commencement

(1) This Act commences on the day the fish first noticed it.

(2) If the fish has not noticed it, this Act commences on a day fixed by Proclamation, and is taken to have commenced on that day whether or not anyone was paying attention.

3 Objects of this Act

The objects of this Act are:

(a) to declare that a fighting fish is sovereign over the water in which it is located;

(b) to establish that the water, the bowl, the gravel and any plastic plant within the bowl form a single indivisible territory, to be known as "the Realm";

(c) to provide a framework for disputes about the Realm which is sufficiently complicated that nobody ever brings one; and

(d) to give effect to the Bowl Accord of 1986, the text of which was lost when the Accord was placed on a damp bench.

4 Definitions

In this Act:

bowl means any vessel containing water and a fighting fish, irrespective of shape, including a tank, a vase, a novelty brandy glass and, in exceptional circumstances, a large teacup.

fish means a fighting fish of the species commonly known as such, and includes a fish that is currently pretending not to be one.

Realm has the meaning given by paragraph 3(b).

sovereign gaze means the act of a fish looking at something with apparent purpose for more than four seconds.

Note: The definition of "front" was inserted by the Clarification of the Front Act 2019 and then removed by the same Act eleven sections later. See section 14.

5 Declaration of sovereignty

(1) Every fish is hereby declared sovereign over its Realm.

(2) Sovereignty under subsection (1) is absolute, except in relation to feeding times, water changes, the position of the bowl and anything else that matters.

(3) Nothing in subsection (2) limits subsection (1), and nothing in subsection (1) limits subsection (2), and the Registry would be grateful if this were not raised again.

6 Exercise of sovereignty

A fish exercises sovereignty by:

(a) swimming to any part of the Realm without seeking permission;

(b) making a bubble nest in any corner it considers to be a corner; and

(c) performing a sovereign gaze at a human, the effect of which is the same as a formal diplomatic note.

7 Sovereign immunity

(1) A fish is not liable for any act done in the Realm in the exercise of sovereignty.

(2) Without limiting subsection (1), a fish is not liable for gravel relocated, plants nudged or pellets ignored.

(3) Subsection (1) does not apply to a snail, which has no sovereignty and should not be encouraged to think otherwise.

9 Borders of the Realm

The border of the Realm is the inside surface of the bowl, and any reflection appearing on that surface is located outside the Realm for the purposes of the Reflective Surfaces (Identity Protection) Act 2009, section 6.

10 Lids

(1) A lid placed on a bowl forms part of the border of the Realm.

(2) A fish that jumps at a lid is taken to be inspecting the border and is not to be described as "dramatic" in any official document.

11 Relocation of the Realm

(1) A human who relocates a bowl from one surface to another must ensure that the Realm arrives intact, upright and in roughly the same mood.

(2) Relocation to a windowsill requires an approved Form B-14 (Application to Relocate a Realm to a Location With a View).

(3) Relocation back to the bench requires a Form B-15, which is identical to Form B-14 but printed in a slightly sadder font.

12 Ornaments within the Realm

Ornaments within the Realm are governed by the Ornament Tenancy and Castle Occupancy Regulations 1999, which the Registry recommends reading only on a full stomach.

13 Disputes

(1) A dispute about the Realm must be referred first to the fish.

(2) If the fish does not respond within 28 days, the dispute is taken to have been resolved in favour of the fish.

(3) If the fish does respond, the Registry would like to hear about it urgently.

14 The front of the bowl

(1) For the purposes of this Act, the front of a bowl is the side from which the fish is most often looked at.

(2) In the case of a round bowl, subsection (1) is suspended pending the outcome of the Round Bowl Front Determination Inquiry, which commenced in 1987 and is "making good progress".

15 Regulations

The Minister may make regulations about anything in this Act, and about anything not in this Act if it seems related, provided the regulations are laminated.